Althea Gray – PEACHBUDDA

Archive for April 2009

ArE YoU StRuGGlIng WiTh YOuR
HeAlInG PRoCess?
Many of you who are in my Soul Journey Program have stepped into your ruby shoes and are well on your way and some of you may feel like suddenly:
1. You have lost track of why you are on the journey in the first place
2. You are trying to move forward with chewing gum at the bottom of
     your shoes
3.  You feel frustrated, sad, angry, empty…even wondering,”what the hell 
      is this all about anyway?
4.  You feel like you are dying or going mad
Guess what,  this all NORMAL and a natural part of Healing.
The first part of any healing process feels exciting…….we are taking life by the hand and we are doing something about our soul ache…..our longing to be one with the Divine and our soul purpose.
Many of you may ask, then, why is it so difficult to move on to the second level?
Any psycho-spiritual shift moves through a death of “self” process.
What does that mean?  It means there is a death of the “self “as we know it.
Some of you are ready for the shift and seem to move through it effortlessly, and, for others (the majority), it is a tedious process froth with emotion and confusion. 
Personally,  I have gone through this process an innumerable  number of times.   Each time,  I felt like I was dying……… me, it was difficult.
I learned later that in many ancient cultures, this type of death is called a
“Shamanic Death” and it is fostered with initiates.  To provoke this process, many initiates we actually buried underground to mock the feeling of death.
Caroline Myss, in her book, SPIRITUAL MADNESS: The necessity of meeting God in the Darkness, discusses the issues around the modern day initiate in his/her quest to find God.
There is always a moment in this process where one feels a kind of madness………and a kind of death.  It can feel like a psychological melt down at it’s worst.
As we shift consciousness and move our psycho/spiritual selves onto higher spiritual levels, as the old self dies, we grieve.
Elizabeth Kubler Ross described 5 important levels of grief that you should be aware of:
Bargaining (do I really need to do this?)
I have found in working with clients over the years, that people do experience these 5 levels of grief as they move from one level of  consciousness to another.   
Many people feel a deep sense of loss………..a loss of the old self and all the mechanisms (healthy or not) that kept that self in place. 
Trusting and letting go is never easy.  The more the ego is imbedded in  those identifications, the more ego felt safe hidden in those identifications, the more scary it is to let go.
The good news is that if you are experiencing any of these feelings
right now,  you are well on your way to a major spiritual shift.
Eventually,  you will experience a powerful sense of liberation.
You will experience a kind of  bliss that comes naturally with spiritual awakening.
The Journey is worth taking, so, keep moving forward, and know that you are on the right path.
The time will come when you can really congratulate yourself for not giving up.
I am blessed to be with you on your journey,
If you want to share some of your experiences with this, please feel free to blog  at
On Gratitude
I thought today of how grateful I am for every bumpy road(boy did I learn plenty),for every helping hand, ahhh that extra hand did come in the nick of time, for every lesson learned (some more painful than others), for every friendship(some only fleeting),for every opportunity(missed other otherwise), for love(some showed me what I could not imagine for myself), for grey winter skies that made me sit inside and reflect, for sunny days that made me go out to play/all work and no play?,for times when I thought I was down to my last cent ,I learned how to appreciate that abundance comes in all forms, for unlimited possibilities,there is always something to dream about,for my daughter who taught me unconditional love, and for my wonderful clients ,who called my gifts out to help many.
Let me know what your thoughts on gratitude and if you like to share it with others.
Your are the best !


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  • Rod: With nearly 60 years of exposure (the 196 Papers were first published in 1955 as the Urantia Book), “Urantia” is still neither a cult nor a religi
  • peachbudda: Hi Erik, Thank you for viewing my blog and for the compliment. I tried to go to your blog and it said it no longer exists. I clicked on your link.
  • christoph: john was my next door neighbor in the northern san luis valley of colorado in 2008. he was an inspiration and joy to behold. his many stories of year